Feminism and Motherhood

http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/what-does-a-feminist-mother-look-like/

1a. How would you describe your feminism in one sentence?

In the words of the ERA "Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

American women have come a long way in the last ninety years!
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I also love Gloria Steinems words "No means no."

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1b.When did you become a feminist? Was it before or after you became a mother?

I had an academic advisor who was a former airforce pilot. Meeting her, I realized that I had limited ideas of what was possible for women.

2. What has surprised you most about motherhood?
Kids are totally awesome.

3. How has your feminism changed over time? What is the impact of motherhood on your feminism?
It hasn't really changed.

4. What makes your mothering feminist? How does feminism impact upon your parenting?
I like to think of myself as a "mother-figure" to some young women who are not my daughters, and I share whatever little understanding of life I've earned with them.

I knew a young woman who wore t-shirts that said things like Barely Legal and Milk Jugs. In her mind she was "owning her sexuality." I spoke with her about it, in as loving and respectful a way as possible. In the seventies that would have been called consciousness raising.

I have also had motherly talks with young girls about their finances such as the importance of budgeting, saving and investing, maintaining a good credit score, and generally taking care of themselves on that front.

The idea or my own children is to stimulate their minds and not place them into a metaphorical tiny pink or blue box.

My six year old announced "I don't want any boy presents for my birthday." What did she consider boy presents? "Things that aren't pink." At that point her favorite toy was her real workbench where she got to build things with wood. She was awesome in pretty dresses building "skyscrapers." She also loved science- but the erector sets and science sets come in blue boxes. Kids absorb the messages of society no matter what we do. As a mother, I just kept challenging them.

Finally, I think to be a feminist mother you have to really control what your kids see on television.

5. Do you ever feel compromised as a feminist mother? Do you ever feel you’ve failed as a feminist mother?

I avoid the lable "failure" because I think I am always evolving and getting stronger, if something slips this time- maybe I'll catch it that much faster next time. Awareness is not failure. Failure would be something - you couldn't even report because it is so unconscious. A neglectful mother is a failure. A person wading through the soup- is at least a role model for how to wade through soup.

It's OK if a child goes through a "glitter make-up" stage. It's just not OK to stop exposing her to anything else.

6. Has identifying as a feminist mother ever been difficult? Why?

When I noticed my children taking on expanded roles for themselves, I felt I succeeded as a feminist mother.

7. Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist?

I chose to be a mother. I suspected it would be like this. The only time it has been hard was when I felt unvalued. And, that turn-around came when I started valuing my own contribution as a mother more. There are sacrifices for motherhood (and fatherhood) but I honor myself by putting some of my own needs on my daily agenda too. It is NOT an either or thing- mothers' needs versus the kids' needs. It only feels that way when your kids are very young. All moms of little kids need someone to let them know- it gets easier. And, all those long nights are actually some of the best days of your life. Don'tbe in a hurry for them to past.

8. If you have a partner, how does your partner feel about your feminist motherhood? What is the impact of your feminism on your partner?

I am only attracted to men who feel secure around strong women. It is probably not possible to love someone long-term who is not a feminist. I often find my husband is willing to support me (watch the kids while I work, for example) and it is I who am afraid to ask for that support because of my lifelong conditioning that his work should come first. Yes, it's true. This isn't just "men oppress women" it's also "women internalize oppression and then act it out on themselves."

And- the same things that limit women, limit men. I don't believe that men are not oppressed. Can you even imagine the pressure most men find themselves under?

9. If you’re an attachment parenting mother, what challenges if any does this pose for your feminism and how have you resolved them?

I am an attachment parenting mother. I was lucky because I could afford to work less.

But for moms that want to work outside the home- I think we have a long way to go towards having really great, affordable childcare options. Also, this culture is not hugely supportive of men that want to make themselves very available to ther children. My father was a very masculine, successful, self-employed man and he probably did more childcare than my mother did. It can be done.

10. Do you feel feminism has failed mothers and if so how? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers?

No- feminism has not failed. The only problem is we haven't taken it far enough. Families need high quality affordable childcare options. Women need to be really conscious of planning their career/motherhood. And that doesn't mean as some women think it does- just delay birth as long as possible.

Halloween and other Scary Thoughts

Oh- and don't eat the Halloween candy. Feel free to toss it in the garbage. No one else really needs it.

Bob Hackney's Favorite Movies

It is great to have a friend who pretty much has my same taste in movies. The films are available through Netflix. With things as they are it will take FOREVER to get through this list. Can't wait...

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"Bob Hackney’s Favorite Movies. Almost all of these are post 1940 films, European or North American, not including Russia, which has some of the greatest films, but don’t fit in to my framework beyond Dersu Uzela. Any number of Kurasawa’s other films, like Ran, Rashomon, and The 7 Samurai would be included, but for my purposes, aren’t due to my intended focus in trying to avoid the obvious, although some of those do fit in, because I wish to specialize in English language classics."

Scandinavian: The Best of Intentions
Fanny and Alexander
Winter Light
The Immigrants
Pele the Conqueror

French: The Lady and the Duke
Lacombe, Lucian
Safe Conduct
Bon Voyage
A Very Long Engagement
Indochine
Ridicule
The Battle of Algiers
Day For Night
Queen Margot
Small Change
Au Revoir Les Enfantes

German: Europa Europa
Sophie Scholl (very powerful, about a brave Hitler resister; it reminds me of Drayer’s The Trial of Joan of Arc)
Das Boot

Dutch: Soldier of Orange

Brittan: In Which We Serve
Tunes of Glory
The Dualists
Zulu Dawn
The Feast of July
Angels and Insects
A Private Function
The Merchant of Venice (Jeremy Iron’s version)
Richard III
The Third Man
A Man for All Seasons
The Meaning of Life
The Charge of the Light Brigade
Joseph Andrews
Tospy Turvy
Romeo and Juliet (Zefferelli)
Far From the Madding Crowd
Yanks
Maret/Sade
To the Ends of the Earth (Series)
Tipping the Velvet
The 39 Steps (Hitchcock)
The Cruel Sea

Ireland: The Run of the Country
The Dead
Intermission
The Brylcream Boys
Veronica Guerin
The Hanging Gale (series)
Frankie Starlight
Some Other Mother’s Son
The Magdalene Sisters
Barry Lyndon
The Last September

Canada: Black Robe
The Jesus of Montreal

Australia: The Year of Living Dangerously
The Sundowners
Bride’s of Christ (T.V. series)
Italy: The Leopard
Bread and Chocolate
Amercord

American: The Hi- Lo Country
Hard 8
Drums Along the Mohawk
The Anniversary Party
The Closer
Picture Bride
Taxi Driver
Wyatt Earp (Costner)
Altered States
The Ox Bow Incident
The Doors
The Story of G.I. Joe
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
The Mission
Band of Brothers (series)
The Unforgiven (not Clint’s movie)
Fat City
Giant
Little Women (Winona Ryder version)
Chinatown
Glory
The Grapes of Wrath
White Heat
The Best of Years of Our Lives
Lifeboat
Decision Before Dawn
Platoon
Scarface
The Long Riders
Prince of Tides
Lone Star
Citizen Kane
Fort Apache
The Misfits
Desert Bloom
Stagecoach
The Maltese Falcon
The Ox Bow Incident
The Last Picture Show
Deliverance
The Goodfellas
The Nun’s Story
Ride With the Devil (Ang Lee’s overlooked classic about America’s civil war)
Midnight Cowboy
Hondo
Mandingo (lurid and uneven, but a great send-up of slavery)
Alien
Pork Chop Hill
McCabe and Mrs. Miller
Tender Mercies
The Gallant Hours

American Comedies:
Home Grown
Caddyshack
Go
Raising Arizona
The Big Labowski
The Good Girl
The Jerk
Broken Flowers
Quick Change
Clerks
Bananas
Murphy’s Romance
This is Spinal Tap
Annie Hall
Stardust Memories
Dr.Strangelove
Hospital
Fargo
The Metropolitans

Other good, but not necessarily great films (all available through Netflix):
The Wind That Shakes the Barley
The Land Girls
Frozen River
Birthday Girl
Intermission
What Doesn’t Kill You
Doubt
Battle in Seattle
Body of Lies
The Bank Job
Beyond the Gates
City of Vice
The Dawning
Christ Stopped at Eboli
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
King of California
Michael Clayton
Zodiac

Making Raw Work

I googled myself and came across this review for the Diabetes Cure by Cousins. At the time I was following Cousins and had perfect blood sugar. Why did I ever stop?

Vanessa was here- we went shopping- I have a fridge full of fantastic fresh produce, soaked almonds, soaked sunflower seeds- I just have to prepare it. I don't even have to cook on a hot day.

Here's the thing with making raw food- unless you're just having a salad then it requires some work to put it together. "Traditional" cooking involves the exact same amount of work. For example, I might slice, salt and weight the eggplant, rinse it, saute it. But, I do that on AUTOPILOT. I am not on autopilot with my raw recipes. And, my favorite raw things take days to prepare- the falafel, raw bread, even sunflower seed smoothies with sprouted seeds has to be started the day before.

So now... I have to get in there and make Kale Salad, Carrot Salad, Cucumber-Celery Juice, slice up the veggies and make a dill sauce... because, I will ultimately eat whatever is in the fridge. Laziness will even allow me to eat things that I know are not good for me such as cheese. Because, that is what most people do. We eat whatever is in the fridge. We need to make an effort to make sure there is something good in the fridge.

100 Things to Do by 2016

OMG I can only think of 37 things....

1. paint some beautiful crone paintings
2. have perfect technique on all of the easy to moderate yoga poses
3. go a year without coffee
4. go a year without eggs
5. learn integrated movement therapy
6. support preadolescents in developing into their most wonderful selves
7. bake the vegan chocolate birthday cake from the Sneaky Chef
8. travel to Turkey or San Francisco to visit Nilsu
9. research the effects of integrated movement therapy on the elderly
10 research the effects of integrated movement therapy on the morbidly obese
11 have an art show
12 research overcoming resistance as it applies to people with chronic disease
13 get big pink climbing roses to grow over the art studio
14 run, swim, bike a half marathon
15 use a CSA
16 meditate for 20 min every day for a month
17 spend seven days in silence
18 publish a raw foods for diabetics article with carb counts for all the foods
19 master advanced Spanish grammar
20 walk all the permanent labyrinths in Washington state
21 practice the meditation Mithra suggests for 180 days+
22 prepare raw food for a large group as a job
23 do a performance art piece where I dance in costumes I have made
24 create a whole exhibit of feminist art peices from cloth
25 create a whole exhibit of feminist art photography peices
26 realize tendencies are illusory
27 read eight books about Carl Jung
28 Serve artichoke pinole dip with rice crackers, Alice Water's Winter Minestrone and those vegan brownies for a holiday meal
29 Spend the Dream Fund Cash with Vanessa (a beach and New Age grooviness will be involved!)
30 Feed children that don't have enough food- fight policies that cause the situation
31 Have a complete conversation with Ada and Jon in Spanish - this probably means going to a Spanish speaking country for at least two months very soon
32 Visit Virginia and Justine
33 Make a documentary video
34 Write a screenplay
35 Go four years (and more!) with perfect blood sugars!
36 Co-Write the Big Green Money Workbook with Vanessa
37 make sure my kids are strong swimmers
38 larger than lifesize paper mache art & multimedia show
39 Go to Costa Rica and Hawaii & bike across Ireland with Stephen
40 Register for campsites in January & plant Sunflowers in March
41 Will this organic garden ever be weed free? Pat says it can be done in seven years!
42 Walk the labyrinths of Washington
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100 Things to Try

I picked this up at veganbits. Here's the basic premise:

1) Copy this list into your own blog, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you've eaten.
3) Cross out (place an xxx beside) any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Post a comment here once you've finished and link your post back to this one.
http://www.veganbits.com
5) Pass it on!

1. Natto XXX
2. Green Smoothie
3. Tofu Scramble (Feeding the Whole Family has a great recipe.)
4. Haggis XXX
5. Mangosteen (on my honeymoon)
6. Creme brulee ** made with sugar topping not made from animal bone char **
7. Fondue
8. Marmite/Vegemite XXX
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Nachos
12. Authentic soba noodles (hmmmm... was it authentic?)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Street cart taco (do you really know their beans are vegan?)
16. Boba Tea - (two things to look out for here - milk and honey)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Gyoza
20. Vanilla ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries(I do live in the Pacific Northwest.)
23. Ceviche w fake fish XXX
24. Rice and beans
25. Knish (http://www.recipezaar.com/Vegan-Knishes-234377)
26. Raw scotch bonnet pepper XXX
27. Flan (Goya's Flan is vegan)
28. Caviar XXX (I saw some vegan caviar online that looked very real. Yipes! Yuck!)
29. Baklava (Cafe Gratitude has a version I would love to make)
30. Pate
31. Wasabi peas
32. Chowder in a sourdough bowl XXX
33. Mango lassi(does a Frozen Mango with coconut, rice milk and lemon smoothie count?)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Mulled cider
37. Scones with buttery spread and jam XXX (a scone made without butter is a paperweight)
38. Vodka jelly XXX
39. Gumbo
40. Fast food french fries
41. Raw Brownies
42. Fresh Garbanzo Beans
43. Dahl
44. Homemade Soymilk
45. Wine from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Stroopwafle
47. Samosas (Sarma Melngailis has a raw version I'd like to try)
48. Vegetable Sushi
49. Glazed doughnut
50. Seaweed
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Tofurkey (I was about five at the time!, so wrong!)
54. Sheese ??? (I located this- vegan cheese spread online.)
55. Cotton candy
56. Gnocchi
57. Piña colada
58. Birch beer
59. Scrapple XXX (Scrapple is not vegan!!!)
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores (use vegan marshmallows unless you like boiled horse hooves with your chocolate)
62. Soy curls
63. Chickpea cutlets
64. Curry
65. Durian XXX
66. Homemade Sausages
67. Churros, elephant ears, or funnel cake
68. Smoked tofu XXX
69. Fried plantain
70. Mochi
71. Gazpacho
72. Warm vegan chocolate chip cookies
73. Absinthe
74. Corn on the cob
75. Whipped cream
76. Pomegranate
77. Fauxstess Cupcake
78. Mashed potatoes with gravy XXX
79. Jerky (do dehydrated veggie strips count- Remlinger farms version is so good)
80. Croissants (who knew? http://shmooedfood.blogspot.com/2006/03/vegan-croissants.html)
81. French onion soup (My tastebuds sing "carmelitas carmelitas.")
82. Savory crepes (a vegan version???)
83. Tings XXX
84. A meal at Candle 79
85. Mock Moussaka (moussake recipe with chickpeas is so good!)
86. Sprouted grains or seeds
87. Macaroni and "cheese" (I want to try one in Mathew kenneys book- WITHOUT pasta)
88. Flowers
89. Matzoh ball soup
90. White chocolate
91. Seitan (Shojin makes the best Seitan)
92. Kimchi
93. Butterscotch chips
94. Yellow watermelon
95. Chili with chocolate (I've had vegan mole- chili - chocolate sauce over grilled vegetables)
96. Bagel and Tofutti (get the Tofutti in the yellow container... No trans fats)
97. Potato milk XXX
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Raw cookie dough

The End :}
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To read more about why most sugar is not vegan, go to www.vegfamily.com/articles/sugar.htm
The following sugar companies DO NOT use bone-char filters:

Florida Crystals Refinery
P.O. Box 86
South Bay, FL 33493
407-996-9072
Labels: Florida Crystals

Refined Sugars Incorporated
One Federal St.
Yonkers, NY 10702
914-963-2400
Labels: Jack Frost, Country Cane, 4# Flow-Sweet
Pillsbury
Makes powdered brown sugar

Supreme Sugar Company (subsidiary of Archer Daniels Midland)
P.O. Box 56009
New Orleans, LA 70156
504-831-0901
Labels: Supreme, Southern Bell, Rouse's Markets

Young(?) Women Have Angst About Making Themselves Useful at Home

There is this thing I keep noticing (I've seen it at least three times) some (I imagine young) woman posts something good and useful about how to do something- baking, canning, whatever and then has to add some defense about how she isn't "barefoot in the kitchen" or a "dowdy submissive." I read an article by a woman who says she's been baking for her husband as he's been having a lot of stress, and her friends have been giving her a hard time. Really? For being nice to your husband? It's the baking part you are supposed to be embarrassed about? I am going to start tossing links to this phenomena here as I find them, because they are so weird.

She wears shoes to stir a pot in her kitchen? Oh, she is saying that she doesn't want us to think she's an old-fashioned woman who knows how to do stuff. Are we really so convinced that it is a waste of time to make things, because we can just buy products instead? Can you imagine a man writing this stuff? You can't, right? Why would anyone apologize for knowing how to do stuff?


http://shellyfish.wordpress.com/tag/bread/